nohighs:

YOU REALLY THINK A FUCKIN PANCAKE IS GONNA FIX THIS HEATHER

spaghettipeej:

spaghettipeej:

i think i accidentally ate some of my grandma’s ashes that were on her bed

MY GRANDMA SMOKES I MEANT CIGARETTE ASHES

castielsfear:

Bruce Wayne watched both of his parents die.

Tony Stark has heart problems and anxiety.

Peter Parker saw his uncle being murdered.

Steve Rogers lost his best friend.

Bruce Banner attempted suicide.

If they can save the world, you can get through this day.

Never stop fighting.

captainhooker:

thats nOT WHAT I MEANT

thug-4-life:

howstufftwerks:

crrocs:

being caught taking selfies is one of lifes most embarrassing moments. 

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omg her peace sign lowering in shame

carbs99999:

Jacobs by Marc Jacobs for Marc by Marc Jacobs in collaboration with Marc Jacobs for Marc by Marc Jacobs

danwasonfireonce:

danwasonfireonce:

danwasonfireonce:

I JUST FOUND OUT THAT TWO OF MY “HETEROSEXUAL” GUY BEST FRIENDS WERE FUCKING EACH OTHER AND MY BEST FRIEND CAUGHT THEM IM CHOKING 

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this is the best day ever 

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of course you are

hi:

"i don’t like to eat late snacks at night, it’s not healthy"

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turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

angergirl:

AU CONTRAIRE
MY GRANDMA GOT ALL A’S IN “ETIQUETTE” (YES THAT WAS AN ACTUAL CLASS IN HER HIGH SCHOOL) AND SHE TOLD ME, “DEAR,” SHE SAID,
“YOU NEVER CROSS YOUR LEGS, YOU CROSS YOUR ANKLES. BUT THE GREAT THING ABOUT YOU LIVING IN THIS GENERATION IS YOU DON’T HAVE TO FOLLOW MY GENERATION’S RULES. SIT THE WAY YOU WANT. IF SOMEONE LOOKS UP YOUR SKIRT, JUST TELL THEM YOUR AUNT MARY WILL KILL THEM.”WHICH IS TRUE
MY AUNT MARY HAD A SWITCHBLADE IN A SPECIAL POCKET OF HER NIGHTGOWN UNTIL THE DAY SHE DIED
the moral of this story is
1. Sit the way you want.
2. My great aunt Mary was a fucking badass.

itsawond3rful-life:

sincerely-harry:

my baby brother was really upset so

he was crying

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until he realized he was taking selfies on my laptop

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Best post on tumblr omg

virginsacrificer:

mom: dinners ready

me:

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algrenion:

algrenion:

i could listen to most irish people talking for hours on end

i mean not at the same time or anything that would be terrifying but you know

[voices of 3 million irish people]

T O P   O   T H E   M O R N I N’   T O   Y A