averagebare:

i heard a kid say “but DAAAAAD” and his dad said “DID YOU JUST CALL ME BUTT-DAD? YOURE GROUNDED” I HAVE BEEN LAUGHING FOR 3 YEARS

circumcising:

heres a transparent picture of me when i was 7

cxrtez:

*gets a compliment*

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r0llcake:

u (◠‿◠✿)

did not (◠‿◠✿)

teach us this (◠‿◠✿)

why is it (◠‿◠✿)

on the test (◠‿◠✿)

BITCH (⊙‿⊙✿)

pzzaplease:

juodaanviinaa:

fuzzypigs:

claybabay:

NEED MONEY FOR COLLEGE

NEED COLLEGE FOR JOB

NEED JOB FOR MONEY

WAHT

WHO THE FUCK DESIGNED THIS SYSTEM

NEED EXPERIENCE FOR JOB

NEED JOB TO GET EXPERIENCE

NEED CAR FOR JOB

NEED JOB FOR CAR

90% of my anxiety in a text post

espeyonce:

when u accidentally type “hood” instead of “good”

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giraffescanflytoo:

kurdtkocaine:

so my brother was doing something weird in the front yard in his underwear???

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and the next thing i know……

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Do you live in a Sims game

officialwhitegirls:

mom: were gonna have mcdonalds for dinner

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bullied:

party at my house bring food then leave

humorking:

Looking at my grades had me like 

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translugia:

*tips muppet* m’namana

sherlocksmyth:

sherlocksmyth:

one time my religion teacher who has a monobrow asked me “what the hell did you do to your hair?” because i had a blonde streak through it and i said “what the hell did you do to your eyebrow” and he sent me outside

when i came back in he asked everyone what monotheism was and i said it meant a religion that worshiped one god because mono means one as in monobrow and he sent me out again